Jokes

1.

I never forget a face
But in your case I'll make an exception

2.

Don't look out of the window
People will think that it's Halloween

3.

You've a face like a million dollars
All green and wrinkled

4.

I've kept my youthful complexion
Yes, so I see, all spotty

5.

Haven't I seen you on TV
Well yes I do appear off and on, how do you like me?
Off

6.

Do you think that I'll lose my looks when I get older?
With luck, yes

7.

My husband always carries my photo in his pocket. It once saved his live when a mugger tried to stab him.
Of course, your face would stop anything

8.

I've just come back from the beauty parlor
What a pity it was closed

9.

Whistler had a particular aversion to the works of the great landscape painter, J. M. W. Turner.
A former client rushed into his studio one morning announcing excitedly that she had found what she thought to be a couple of Turners going for a song.
'Please would you come and tell me whether you think these are genuine or imitation Turners?' she asked.
'Madam,' said Whistler, 'that's a fine distinction.'

10.

John Ruskin didn't think much of Whistler's paintings at the best of times, but when one of them was exhibited in 1877 he was so appalled that he wrote this damning review which sparked off the famous libel case.
For Mr. Whistler's own sake, no less than for the protection of the purchaser, Sir Coutts Lindsay ought not to have admitted works into the gallery in which the ill-educated conceit of the artist so nearly approached the aspect of wilful imposture. I have seen, and heard, much of cockney impudence before now; but never expected to hear a coxcomb ask two hundred guineas for flinging a pot of paint in the public's face.'

11.

Abraham Lincoln was invited to look over a painting recently hung in a Washington gallery. The President spent some time looking at the work from various angles and finally passed judgement on it.
The painter is a very good painter, and observes the Lord's Commandments,' he said.
'Whatever do you mean?' asked one of his friends.
'Well, as I see it,' Lincoln replied, 'he hasn't made unto himself the likeness of anything in heaven above or in the earth beneath or in the waters under the earth.'