Jokes

1.Ant jokes:-

Where do ants go to eat?
At a restaurant!

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Antteneye!

What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian!

What kind of ants are very learned?
Pedants!

What do you call a smart ant?
Elegant!

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?
Discordant!

What kind of ant is good at maths?
An accountant!

How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten ants!

2.Bee jokes:-

Q: Who is the bees favorite singer?
A: Sting!

Q: Who is the bees favorite pop group?
A: The bee gees!

Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk?
A: An animal that stinks and stings!

Q: What does a queen bee do when she burps?
A: Issues a royal pardon!

Q: How does a queen bee get around her hive?
A: She's throne!

Q: What does the bee Santa Claus say?
A: Ho hum hum!

Q: Why do bees hum?
A: Because they've forgotten the words!

Q: What kind of bees hum and drop things?
A: A fumble bee!

Q: What did the bee say to the flower?
A: Hello honey!

Q: What's a bees favorite flower?
A: A bee-gonias!

3.Bird jokes:-

Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens?
A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!

Q: Which birds steal soap from the bath?
A: Robber ducks!

Q: What kind of bird opens doors?
A: A kiwi!

Q: What language do birds speak?
A: Pigeon English!

Q: How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
A: Send him to polytechnic!

Q: Where do birds invest their money?
A: In the stork market!

Q: Where do blind sparrows go for treatment?
A: The Birds Eye counter!

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A: A bird that talks in morse code!

Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A: A headbanger!

4.Cat jokes:-

Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!

Q: What's striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

Q: What is the cat's favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!

Q: How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
A: Smack a lion!

Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!

Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Usually purr can!

Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A: A tiger moth!

Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
A: 'Let us prey.'

5.Chicken jokes:-

Q: Why don't chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!

Q: Why did the rooster run away?
A: He was chicken!

Q: What do chickens grow on?
A: Eggplants!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee calling fowls Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A: A bird that lays down!

Q: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
A: She lays hand gren-eggs!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the "net"?
A: It wanted to get to the other site!

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
A: He wanted to lay it on the line!

6.Dog jokes:-

Q: What is a dog's favorite sport?
A: Formula 1 drooling!

Q: What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk?
A: A Great Dane out!

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Q: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?
A: "I must throw that doggie out the window!"

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!

Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers?
A: Because his boots were at the menders!

Q: What is a dog's favorite food?
A: Anything that is on your plate!

Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
A: A hot dog!

Q: What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
A sausage dog!

Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen?
A: Use a pencil instead!

7.Elephant jokes:-

What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants?
The tusk fairy!

What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?
An elephant with spare parts!

What's grey but turns red?
An embarrassed elephant!

What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant!

When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?
When it's a baby elephant!

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
When your nose touches the ceiling!

What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet!

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

8.Farm jokes:-

What is a cow's favorite TV show?
Dr Moo!

Why was the farmer hopping mad?
Because someone had trodden on his corn!

What would happen if bulls could fly?
You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up!

What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?
A sheep that's under the weather!

Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed!

What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'?
A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!

What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?
A groundhog!

How do you take a pig to hospital?
By hambulance!

What do you call a joke book for chickens?
A yolk book!

9.Fish jokes:-

Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!

What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!

What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!

How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!

What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!

What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

10.Mouse jokes:-

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?
Cross mouse cards!

What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?
Getting it to fit over a bucket!

Hickory hickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the rest got away with minor injuries

What do you call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Sir!

What do mice do when they're at home?
Mousework!

What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?
Three blind mice!

What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A hamster!

When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs!

What's the definition of a narrow squeak?
A thin mouse!

Is there a mouse in the house?
No, but there's a moose on the loose!