Jokes

1.A REALLY LONG BOX

A Polish man went to a carpenter and asked, "Can you build me a box that is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"
"Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be done, I suppose, but what would you want a box like that for?"
"Well, you see," said the Pole, "my neighbor moved away and forgot some things, so he asked me to send him his garden hose."

2.GO AHEAD AND JUMP!

A Polish man wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Pole to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Pole understood and was ready.
The time came to have the Pole jump from the plane. The instructor reminded the Pole that he would be right behind him. The Pole proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord.
The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Pole. The Pole seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

3.ONLY YOU

Question: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
Answer: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.

4.THE UNUSUAL SUSPECT

Following the assault of a young woman, the police rounded up the usual suspects for a lineup; suddenly, the Polish suspect stepped forward and screamed "That's her!!"

5.GONE FISHING

These two Polish men rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

6.THREE PRISONERS

Three POWs, an American, a German, and a Pole, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, "Tornado!" They all look and the American runs away. Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad.
He yells "Earthquake!" They all hit the dust and the German escapes.
Next up is the Pole. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"

7.POLISH OFF THAT VODKA

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying Polish vodka. Since
I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"
As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"
"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."
After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'
"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from Lech Walesa Technical Academy in '81."
"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."
The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."