Jokes

1.Two teachers at my high school started a practical joke war that culminated in a junk mail war of huge proportions. They finally called a truce and got it cleared up and the mail stopped, EXCEPT for the military mail that one had signed the other one up for. He wrote (honestly) that he had graduated from a fine college and was interested in the Marines, Air Force, etc. etc. When I left, about two years after this, he was still getting PHONE CALLS from 2-4 times a month.... they were VERY persistant even over he (loud) objections that he was 45 and not interested in a career change...


2.When I was in college our RA told us of a good one that (supposedly) some friends had pulled a couple of years earlier. These two guys made up a concoction of all kinds of left overs, semi-pureed it in a blender, and filled a hot water bottle with it. One of them took the hot water bottle, taped it to his stomach inside of his shirt and put a short piece of hose into the top so that it came up to the front of his shirt collar, but not visible. They both went to a local pub and sat at the bar, acting already slightly intoxicated. After having a couple of beers the guy with the hot water bottle says that he is feeling sick a couple of times and "barfs" VERY loudly all over the bar to attract attention. Naturally this causes the patrons to move away from him, all except his buddy, who calmy pulls a fork out of his coat pocket and begins EATING the stuff. ;-) I don't know how true it is, but I'd love to have been there watching faces if it was...

3.One night when you have a few friends around, take turns calling the same phone number, a really obnoxious acquaintance that won't recognize your voices is always a good choice. When the person answers, try to leave a message for John Smith (or any name that sounds real). Insist that you have the right number and even read their number to them. Have a bit of fun here, and stretch this on as long as possible. Repeat several times, once or twice an hour. Let everybody have a turn at calling. Just as the party is breaking up, call one last time. Tell the poor soul answering the phone that you are John Smith, and ask "Are there any messages for me?" This is sure to get a groan.

4.I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some pretty funny jokes. One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour a bucket of extreeeemmmlly cold water on them over the top of the shower curtain. This is quite a shocking experience, and if you are fast enough you can get away before the victim finds out you did it.

I remember one guy I lived with getting this all the time. One time he got sick of putting up with it and jumped out of the shower into the hall squirting shampoo at everyone in sight. The next time this happened the guys were ready with a camera to take pictures of him as he ran out of the bathroom. These pictures were later shown at his bachelor party.

5.A few years ago some members of the infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed an occupied one-seat outhouse off its foundations, onto its door. The victim tried in vain for a few minutes to roll the entire building onto a different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy. She then was forced to climb out through the seat, and over the pit near the bottom (now side) of the outhouse.

The followup to this episode was that some `friends' seized me in the middle of the night and tied my feet in a noose suspended in a tree. But that's another story.

6.This one reminded me of a joke some of the guys on our floor pulled on another guy while he was in the shower. While he was in the shower, they took all his clothes and even his towel and hung them outside in the hall (over water pipes in the ceiling - we were in the basement). I don't know how long he stayed in there and/or whether or not someone ever gave him back his clothes. The worst part of this one was that there were 2 shower stalls in the bathroom - and I happened to be in the other one; it could of happened to me!!

7.My favorite dorm practical joke involved collecting newspapers for about 3 months by everyone. When a guy on my floor had a three hour lab we crumpled up newspapers and completely filled his room from floor to ceiling. When he returned, he had to go in through in the bathroom, and wasn't even able to get the door open far enough to get through.

8.Back around 1969 at another university, we had just gotten time sharing facilities and because of the unrest (this was about Kent State) we had armed guards protecting the computer and the few terminals. It being around midnight, I got the guards playing an interactive monopoly game. The next evening i was confronted by a VERY upset computer operator. Apparently at about 4:00AM one guard landed on Boardwalk and the game ended when he didn't have enough money to pay the rent. The guards DEMANDED the operator restart the game and bcame more and more upset when he couldn't.

9.One prank I haven't seen listed yet is the one I used to do at summer camp and the college dorm. Take the top off the toilet tank. Inside, there is usually a vertical plastic pipe about 1 inch in diameter. Going into the top of this pipe is a little plastic tube. Turn the tube outward and, if it is long enough, then put it toward the toilet bowl with the end just sticking out. Replace the tank cover, making sure that the little plastic tube is just sticking out. When someone flushes, the tube will squirt water.

One time in Colorado I did this at 3:00am. The guy that got caught must have flushed with his elbow while still seated. His back was sprayed with ice cold water. His language was abominable, and made funnier since this was a Christian camp. Oh well, we're all human.

10.A great trick I have gotten away with many a time requires a little preparation, simply to go to the grocery and get a few packages of Kool-Aid. Then while your 'prey' is away, simply spread it nice and liberally into his bed, best if done in stripes, to leave his body in different colors. This works best in a warm room where he is sure to sweat during the night to the utmost.